Slight reality.... or epiphany?

   I had a really amazing friend ask me the other night why am i doing this trip. She went on to tell me how insane i was and that i was just crazy for going all in on this trip. It was  cool though, it made me think a whole lot. I mean i know i wanna do it and i never really thought about why i said yes in the first place. This will prolly be one of the only blogs I have that are somewhat "deep" but this is basically why I decided to go.

   Thinking about this trip i really couldn't put my finger on why i am going but once i did a bit of soul searching the other night i realized why (i think) i am going. I have been afraid of growing up for a long time. I was terrified of it. (I might still be... i don't know) As a child, teenager, or kid you don't have to think logically, you don't have to be anywhere really, and overall you can just do what you want (with parents allowing it). Your imagination is amazing as a child. You haven't a worry in the world really.

   After my trip i have to get a "real" job, i have to work everyday, and i have to start to think about the future more than i ever have. This trip subconsciously (becoming more conscious) is my last hoo rah, my right to passage, my pilgrimage, or something along those lines. I am just going, not to find myself, but to really just see the country and do one last really illogical and crazy thing. Who knows, maybe i will still do stuff like this depending on where i end up in life. I feel like life is meant to be lived. Me, as a person, I'm a bit random, which i am totally ok with. I just don't feel like i need to graduate college, get a job, get married 3 weeks later, get a dog 3 months after that, and then have a kid a year later. I wanna live life and i know i may never ever have a chance to do something like this again.

I honestly don't know if that makes sense but to me it really does. I'm having trouble putting my thoughts onto paper i guess. What i am really wanting to say i think is don't worry about how old you are, or what you are "supposed" to do. Don't think about "what ifs", and just live. Be yourself.

This bike trip... is me being me and living.

We grow neither better nor worse as we get old, but more like ourselves.