... and that's the way the cookie crumbles.

As i begin to type this, for the first time in over a month everything around me is familiar. I know where i am and i have seen this all before. It's weird. It feels so foreign to me. This might not make sense to you but it makes more sense if i tell you all that i am home in Knoxville, TN. I had to fly home yesterday morning.

Deciding to come home was one of the hardest decisions i have ever made. My last blog left off that i had ridden a 85-90 mile day. It was a great ride and honestly i felt pretty flippin' good afterwards. My knee was a bit weak but i felt good. We ended up finding a ditch to sleep in about 300 yards from this random racetrack in the middle of nowhere Colorado. I had a bit of trouble sleeping but most of that was due to the fact that i was using my helmet as a pillow. Plus i had been in Denver going to bed T 1am every night and Daniel and i were laying down and it was 9:15... i honestly didn't know what to do with myself. I just listened to music on my phone then forced myself to sleep about 20 minutes after that.

We woke up the next morning to the sound of racecars and their engine grumble It was a great alarm clock. You have to feel like a man if you sleep in a ditch and wake up to a car engine.. right? It was a bit muggy/foggy/overcast but i was ready to go. I stood up and felt great... minus just a bit of discomfort in my knee. I was actually ready before Daniel... mainly cause he had to replace his flat tire... gave me an extra 14 minutes of getting ready time. I wanted to start biking. We ate a lil bit of food and got on our way. People in Colorado kept talking about how Eastern Colorado was flat... WRONG! Hill after hill after hill after hill after hill.... it was ridiculous. I guess compared to the Rockies... it was a friggin slab.. but NOT flat.

So we are riding and climb after climb my knee was beginning to feel a bit weak but i felt great on the flats. At 10 in the morning Daniel had to make a call. So, we see a big climb in the distance and decide when we get to the top of that climb he was gonna make the call to one of his young life guys parents. We get to the top of the climb and he is on the phone. I was kinda just sitting there eating some bagels with peanut butter. I notice some ants on the ground so i try to stand up realizing i can't put any weight on my knee, I fell back down. I realized nothing was fixed about my knee. I knew it had been hurting on the uphills but that last big one got to me pretty good. I realized in that moment that i could finish the 100 miles on Saturday, but i wasn't able in confidence to say i could ride sunday or monday or the next day. My knee was hurting.

I pretty much broke down in that moment. I was sooo frustrated. I was soooo sad. I had been realizing slowly, for the first hour of our ride (about 15 miles) that i couldn't finish the trip. It all smacked me in the face while i was sitting there by myself waiting on Daniel. I sat there and cried out of frustration and sadness. I loved being out there. Being on the bike is my escape/release. It sucks.

Daniel finishes his convo and comes over to me and i mean obviously he knew something was up. My head was in my hands, tears on my face. I just told him, i can't finish dude. I can't promise i can ride tomorrow. I can't promise i can ride the next day. We weigh our options on what i should do since i am roughly a 100 miles from Denver and really and civilization. I remember that race track and the sound of the engines. I just said, "man, imma ride back there and hitch a ride i guess. I was so mad at life in that moment. As we rode i just thought about everything that had happened and realized there was more goign on than my plan. Nothing had gone "right" since the minute my trip started... why start now right? Daniel rode to the track with me which was great. we got a few more miles in together. I think all in all we road 25 miles together, including trips to the stores, coffee shops, and bike shops.

We get to this race track and it was awesome Porsches, Lotus, audi, corvettes, skylines... all these amazingly fast cars racing around a track. There Daniel and i sitting on our bikes. We got some funny looks to say the least. The track manager talks to me while Daniel called his mother to tell her he was finishing the trip by solo.

Daniel left and i was at this track by myself no ride to denver, can't bike it, and honestly didn't know a single person in the place. People start talking to me and really just loved what i was doing. I mentioned to someone i was trying to get back to denver and he offered me a ride to about 7 miles from my sisters place. I was stoked. I had a ride. I just had to stay at the track all day, which to some people sounds boring but they found me a helmet and i had the long sleeves and pants, and because of that i got to ride in a race car. It was nuts! I had never gone that fast in a car and i had never been on a racetrack either.

Finally i get a ride back and it was crazy to drive the same route i just biked the day before. It took me 8 hours to ride it and only 45 minutes in a car. ha. Craziness for sure. Tom Carlin was the guys name. He dropeed me off and i didn't know where i was. Chuck, the bike shop owner from lakewood, came to get me. He gave me a ride to my sisters with a slight detour to have a beer at a local bar. This is all just saturday. Sunday night i end up buying my ticket to fly out of denver. I left Tuesday morning at 1am.

Those few days happened so fast. I still can't fathom that i am home. It's weird, but i will say this, the past month of my life has been the most incredible adventure ever. I have done things i never thought i would do, met people i never would have met, and i have seen places i never thought i would see. I think from moment one i was so set on how things would happen and how things would go down that i wasn't willing to actually be on an adventure (an adventure being something nuts that just happens how it happens). I think over the course of this trip i have learned so much and i will hopefully post one more blog about that. This trip has honestly been life changing and i have learned more about myself in a month than i ever thought i would. Everyone's encouragement has been incredible and the support i have received has been baffling. Am i sad? A bit. Frustrated? Maybe a lil bit on that one also. Disappointed? Of course. Mainly though, am I completely thankful with how the past month has happened and how things have turned out? Yes. No questions asked, this trip has been perfect.